Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1078

Episode Number:1078

Episode Title:ハイテンション。ザ。ベスト。テン
(High Tension, The Best of Ten!)

Broadcast Date: Sunday, October 30th 2011

Viewing Links:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzE3ODE3MTQ4.html

Guests:
Numerous. See below.

Important Vocabulary:
崇高(すうこう): Lofty, sublime, nobility
舞台(ぶたい): Stage (theater stage)
開幕(かいまく): Curtain opens, raising of the curtain.
ヅラ: Hairpiece, wig.
出歯亀(でばがめ): A meji-era peeping tom.
キモい: Gross, disgusting

Episode Summary:
"The curtain rises on this lofty stage," says the opening blurb not without irony., and another "High Tension The Best of Ten" (high tension, top ten) begins.
Although most High tension two-parters follow a rigorous format, this one starts with something a little different: Hamada is wearing a hairpiece. "That sure is a wig, isn't it," says Matsumoto.
Since much of what needs to be said about a High Tension episode can be said in the analysis, I'll limit the summary to just a list of Guests and the titles of their high-tension acts:

#10: デバガメしろよ,明日の分まで (Peeping Tom, until tomorrow's portion?) by Kokorico's Tanaka Naoki

#9: 2011 破天荒( Unprecedented 2011) by 平成ノブシコブシ 吉村崇　(Yoshimura Takashi from the combi Heiseinobushicobushi)

#8: キモ　キモ男( gross, gross Man) by バナナマン　日村勇紀　(Himura Yuuki of the combi Bananaman)

#7: こんなにはいらない！ (This much won't do!) by キングオブコメディ　今野 浩喜(Kono Hiroki from the combi King of Comedy)

15th place (Even More Best of Ten): 最高いにはじけたアントニオ猪木！(Antonio Inoki Bursting out at the highest) by XGUN　さがね雅裕 (Sagane Masahiro of the combi BatsuGun)

#6: 僕の頭の中 (in my head) by プラスマイナス　岩橋良昌 (Iwahashi Yoshimasa of the combi Plus Minus)

Episode Analysis:
This is the first High-Tension Best of Ten episode since episode #1030/31 aired on Sept 14th and 21st 2010, which honors the tradition of this being a yearly event. Looking back at the other High-tension shows, it's striking how well formed the format is. We'll wait until after the second part (next week) to delineate this format more clearly, because at present we'd like to speak about "Tension" in general.
"Tension" (hereafter without quotes) is apparently a very important aspect of modern Japanese comedy. My dictionary defines it in this context as "high spiritedness," but from watching numerous Gaki episodes in which it has been mentioned, I think a proper definition must be more broad. In fact "broad" in the comedic sense, is probably the closest we can come. It featues extremely over-the-top performances, gurning, hamming, and a willingness on the part of the performer to go to any extent to get a laugh. In normal comedic circumstances, it seems often mentioned that a funny person will "raise the tension" (テンション上がる). But this is High Tension-- performers giving their utmost in short comedic vignettes.
But even this misses some important aspects of this weird series. In addition to playing with the notion of "Suberi-Gei" (すべり芸 milking comedy from uncomfortable situations and failed jokes) there is also a debasement and humiliation (Sadism/Masochism arising again) in the grotesque nature of the acts. It becomes a kind of hyper-exaggerated kabuki, in which the laughs are usually wrung from repetition and surprise. It is, quite literally, "tense."

Also worth noting regarding this series is that the format is in fact a parody itself-- that is, a parody of the program ザ。ベスト。テン (The Best Ten) a music chart program that aired on Japan's TBS from 1978-1989. It was hosted by a male/female pair (hence Matsumoto's costume) and featured a similar tote-board, mirrored entrance door, and group seating. As the image below shows, even the High Tension Best of Ten font is taken from the original program.

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1077

Episode Number: 1077

Episode Title:なるほど　ザ。なぞなぞ　ワールド
(Indeed, The World of Riddles!)

Broadcast Date: Sunday October 23rd 2011

Viewing Links:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzE1NTcwNjIw.html

Guests:

Important Vocabulary:
司会(しかい): Host
以降(いこう): Since
なぞなぞ: Riddles, puzzles.
目覚める(めざめる): Wake up.
逃避(とうひ): Escape, evasion.
後輩(こうはい): Junior at work/school.
穏やか(おだやか): Calm
おもろい:(Kansai-Ben) Interesting, amusing
蚊(か): A mosquito
年齢(ねんらい): Age
晩酌(ばんしゃく): An evening drink.
小遣(こずかい): Pocket money
いい加減にしろ: "That's enough!"
腐ったパン(ふったぱん): stale(?) bread.
教示(きょうじ) Instructions.
至って(いたって) Very much so, exceedingly.

Episode Summary:
Matsumoto arrives in the Gaki rec-room, and says he's been asked to play the role of a Host. It seems that Hamada has been depressed since the 2008 market crash ("Lehman shock" Matsumoto calls it). But recently, Matsumoto says, Hamada has found a hobby: RIDDLES. Riddles have "woken him up" (rejuvenated him.)
Yamasaki, for one, finds this interesting, and wants to help out. Matsumoto thought the others would want to avoid the whole situation, and furthermore, he doesn't want to see his juniors join in half-heartedly. With this said, everyone agrees to help out.
They meet Hamada (dressed to the hilt) on a studio set. (notice Hamada's stumble, one of many clumsy moments he's had in recent shows, for example, burning himself in last week's episode.)
Hamada introduces his "show" with great enthusiasm and Yamasaki finds it very amusing ("high tension, indeed!").
There are some preliminaries, and the first riddle is given:
Q: What is it that if you run and run from, you chase?
The answers are:
Yamasaki: A shadow.
Endou: A mosquito
Tanaka:
Yamasaki: A criminal?
Endou: Time
Tanaka:

Hamada is a little flustered that they can't get it, but Yamasaki thinks his answer (a shadow) is correct. Still, Matsumoto is angered that no one is raising their hand, and no one understands!
As Hamada is giving up on the first riddle, Yamasaki wants to know what the answer is. We are given the answer, however:
A: Age (years.)

The regulars agree to raise their hands before answering, and the second question is on!
Q: What is it that Papa asks of Mama?
Yamasaki: An drink in the evening!
Endou: Marmalade (mama-redu)
Tanaka:
Yamasaki: Mama-Lemon (a dish washing liquid!) (this is easily the funniest answer in the whole show, and Endou and later Matsumoto and Hamada have difficulty keeping a straight face.)
Tanaka: "How about pocket money?"
Yamasaki opens his trap again and Matsumoto really blows up for the first time this eipsode. "That's enough!" he screams, "What do you mean 'MAMA LEMON?!?"
Yamasaki still wants to know the answer, though, as the riddles are hard! He explains this as Hamada leaves, and Matsumoto starts to lay into the guys. They should have maintained a more lively tempo. After apologizing, Hamada and his helpers agree to give it another go.
10 minutes later...

Q: What kind of Pan (bread) can't you eat?
Yamasaki: A frying pan!
Endou: Ji-Pan! (Jeans)
Tanaka:
Yamasaki: "What about STALE bread?"

Once again upset at the low quality of the answers, Hamada has had enough.

"Do you lot understand your instructions?," asks Matsumoto derisively when he's gone. "Don't you want to do this?"
"We want to do it, but the questions are a little hard," says Yamasaki.
Matsumoto isn't satisfied, and points out that Tanaka has barely said a word yet!
After Matsumoto reprimands the regulars, they're back to the dressing room to convice Hamada to return. Matsumoto is particular in making the regulars say they want to do RIDDLES one more time. Tanaka cracks Hamada up saying he wants to do "riddle questions" again.
"Do you REALLY want to do this?" asks Matsumoto, in a fit of hysterics. "Then tell Hamada!"
Tanaka obliges, "I want to do riddles with all my heart."

"Will Hamada Return to the Studio?" asks the title blurb before the commercial break. And...

He does return. "Let's do it!" he says.

Q: What is it that no matter how much you cut and cut, you can't cut?
Yamasaki: Air
Endou: A handle (car steering wheel?)
Endou: A diamond.
Tanaka:

Soon Hamada breaks and takes it out on Tanaka. "If you're not going to do anything, go home!"
Matsumoto takes up the abuse. "If you can't do riddles, don't come to Nippon TV!"
"I'll do it, really, I'll do it," says Tanaka, but quickly, and against his protests, they're stuffing him in a taxi.
"DO YOU WANT TO DO RIDDLES?" shouts Matsumoto, and Tanaka answers meekly "I want to do it."
Matsumoto pulls him aside, saying "If you felt good (during the riddle show) then SAY IT TO HAMADA! TELL HIM PROPERLY THAT 'I WANT TO DO RIDDLES'!"
Then, in turn, he has the regulars show "I WANT TO DO RIDDLES!"
To which Hamada replies, "Well, there's no real reason to..." (roll on snare drum)

Episode Analysis:

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1076

Episode Number:1076

Episode Title: ベロンベロン酒場. 酔っぱらいしか入れない会員制のBAR
"BeronBeron (Stumbling Drunk) Bar. The bar where only drunkards can enter."

Broadcast Date: Sunday, October 17th, 2011

Viewing Links:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzEzNDIyMTky.html

Guests:
高橋 茂雄 Takahashi Shigeo of the "combi" Sabanna (サバンナ)
岩尾 望 (Iwao Nozomu of the Combi Football Hour)
いとう あさこ (Itou Asako) A female solo comic.
ほっしゃん (Hosshyan)

Episode Summary:
Part two of the antics at the BeronBeron bar, the bar in which only (geinin) drunkards can enter, and as the show opens, the annoucer recaps the previous episode saying "drunken comedians appear, one by one." There is then a brief recap of the character's "drunken behavior data."
Most of the on-screen antics is fairly self-explanitory, except for the continuing joke about Iwao (in the rainbow shirt) and his facial ticks.

A few minutes after the start of the eipsode, Hosshyan arrives with his "drunken behavior data:"

Name: Hosshyan.
Drinks Up to Now: 12 glasses of Whiskey.
"Drunken Behavior" data:
The best Drinker
Tends to engage in heated bar talk

After his arrival, the customers sing the song "Lonely Chaplin" which you can hear here. It's probably the highlight of the evening, because it's all downhill from here.

Matsumoto "discovers" a roulette wheel style game. And the first spin says "Everyone make a funny face." He turns to Tanaka to start, but it doesn't catch on. "Isn't anyone going to make a funny face?" says Matsumoto, with a comedic edge of anger. "He's doing it!" says Hamada, pointing to Iwao, but he tries to explain that's just the way he is when he drinks.
The conversation turns to Hosshyan, who is a little frustrated-- "What's to become of me?" he asks. He evidently wants to change careers. Matsumoto suggests that Hamada can give him some advice.
Before Hamada can offer anything, Matsumoto points out that Iwao is making another funny face. "Hamada's giving advice to Hossyan, and you made a funny face just now!" For the rest of the night, Matsumoto is pointing out Iwao's making a funny face.
For some strange reason, Hamada burns himself!
The rest of the evening just shows the group disintegrating into a drunken rabble. There are some interesting views behind the scenes in the studio, but there's little esle of note besides Tanaka wandering behind the bar (Hamada: "Get back to your seat!") and Yamasaki doing a poor version of Endou's HoiHoiHoi dance.
As the customers file out, Hamada and Matsumoto tell Iwao to remain seated. "What are you up to?" Matsumoto asks jokingly. Iwao apologizes, but a moment later, Matsumoto says "your just now making a funny face! I really won't forgive you!"
The two segments at the end of the show deal with Yamasaki describing how he was kicked out of his house one morning by his wife (and applolgized by telephone) and Hamada asking Tanaka and Yamasaki about their parents hitting them. It turns out that Hamada was hit by his father at 3 years old!

Episode Analysis:

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1075

Episode Number: 1075


Episode Title: ベロンベロン酒場.  酔っぱらいしか入れない会員制のBAR
"BeronBeron (Stumbling Drunk) Bar. The bar where only drunkards can enter."

Broadcast Date:
Sunday, October 10th, 2011


Viewing Links:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzExMzI5OTI0.html


Guests:
高橋 茂雄 Takahashi Shigeo of the "combi" Sabanna (サバンナ)
岩尾 望 (Iwao Nozomu of the Combi Football Hour)
いとう あさこ (Itou Asako) A female solo comic.



Episode Summary:
A slow night at the BeronBeron Bar, as Mama (Matsumoto) and Master (Hamada) await the arrival of their first customers of the evening. One hour before BeronBeron opened, however, a group of Geinin have begun a bout of drinking. As they raise their glasses the song 日本全国酒飲み音頭 (All Japan Sake Drinking March) is heard. A version is available here:
With much drama, the announcer asks, ;"Who will become the first customer?" It is, of course, a very slovenly looking Yamasaki. After he enters BeronBeron bar his drinking "stats" are quickly shown:
1st Customer: Yamasaki Hosei
Alcohol Previously Drunk: 2 (small Tokui) bottles of sake, 2 glasses of ShouChuu.
"Drunken Behavior" DATA:

• Face quickly becomes red
• Becomes generous, "big hearted." Picks fights.

During these "drinking data" graphics, the song  酒と泪と男と女 (Sake, Tears, Him, Her) by 河島 英五 (Kawashima Eigo) is played in the background. A version of this somewhat enjoyable, if maudlin song can be found here.
As Yamasaki takes a seat, Mama mistakes him for "Watanabe Tou san," which causes a little confusion. Yamasaki's drink? "for the moment, just water," to which Master is quite surprised. Instead they get Yamasaki a "Mizuwari" or "Whiskey and Water." 
Like the other customers to come, Yamasaki  has brought his own particular snack (おつまみ ) or in this case Calbee brand potato chips. This is hardly surprising, considering the love for this brand Yamasaki expressed in the recent Potato Chips Kiki (episode #1073). Noting this, Mama says that she "doesn't think an endorsement deal is coming, however."
Upon tasting his Mizuwari, it appears the drink is quite strong. "It surprised me a little," says Yamasaki. Mama and Master note the change in Yamasaki's face color. The conversation turns to Yamasaki's drinking character, and he confesses that he can become quite quarrelsome after two "Shou" (升)of sake (one Shou is about 1.8 liters.) Mama is consoling, however, stating that this isn't his "true character." Rather, he's really a "gentleman."
The announcer marks "15 minutes since the start of drinking and Yamasaki has started Hot Sake." "Twenty of these (small sake) Tokui bottles make up two Shou" remarks Mama, evidently trying to make Yamasaki worry less about his "two Shou" limit.
Just then the second customer arrives. Mama and Master remark at how his "face has changed!"

2nd Customer: 高橋 茂雄 Takahashi Shigeo
Alcohol Previously Drunk: 4 Glasses of beer, 4 glasses of ShouChuu, 2 glasses of Whiskey.
"Drunken Behavior" DATA:

• "The life of the party"
• Doesn't count his strong drinks.

Mama contrasts his youthful appearance to Yamasaki who has is an "old looking drunk." For his snack, Takahashi has brought his mother's Umeboshi or "pickled, dried plums," which everyone has a taste of. Supposedly they were instrumental in getting him a regular job on High Heel's (an female Owari Combi) program. So he calls them "Regular Acquisition (Income?) Umeboshi." They're certainly delicious, and takahashi, true to his "life of the party" character, proposes a Kampai. After Hamada asks him, Takahashi mentions that he'll drink maybe two days a week. This week he's drunk yesterday and the day before-- making today perfect!
Yamasaki is in awe of Takahashi's drinking ability. Takahashi then mentions that once, drinking with Yamasaki, Takahashi's older brother mentioned a strange dream he had, in which Takahashi became a host!
The announcer says that at this point, both customers join Master and Mama in a drink. Afterwards, Takahashi (really drinking quickly) asks for another ShouChuu "on the rocks." There is some small talk about a rumor of Takahashi being able to "go to the barber" (a sexual reference?) while drunk. It's obvious that Takahashi is drinking quickly, so perhaps Hamada only pretends to fill his cup. But both Yamasaki and Takahashi notice this, however. Mama writes this off as "every week the severity of his (Hamada's) being the Boke is increasing!" 


35 Minutes after the start of drinking:
Yamasaki: 3 cups Sake, 3 glasses ShouChuu.
Takahashi: 3 Beers, 2 Whiskeys, 4 glasses of ShouChuu.


At that point, the third customer enters:

3rd Customer: 岩尾 望 (Iwao Nozomu of the Combi Football Hour)

Alcohol Previously Drunk: 3 Beers, 4 glasses of ShouChuu, 4 glasses of white wine

"Drunken Behavior" DATA:

• "Tension" (high spirited-ness) does not change
• His face can change. ("a facial change can become apparent.")

After Iwao's entrance his is made to remove his sunglasses to show how much drinking has changed his face. "It's quite an angy face," says Mama, and she'll repeat the observation later. Iwao has brought as his snack "Flavored Nori" (seaweed). Iwao seems impressed it has no real calories, and then Hamada asks him of his drinking habits. "About half a beer a day" is usually what he drinks, usually by himself.
The drinking continues and it's revealed that Yamasaki must be at a theater tomorrow evening (presumably to perform his one man 月亭方正 [Tsukite Housei] Rakugo act) and Takahashi must be on "Hirunandesu" tomorrow at 10:00am! I'll hazard a guess that at least Takahashi he didn't make it. Mama agrees, saying to Takahashi, "You've drunk too much."
The conversation turns to Takahashi's combi material, which apparently deals with the topics of "space" and "real taxes." 
At the commercial break, the bumper reads "After this... Still MORE drunkards will appear..."


One Hour 15 Minutes After the Start of Drinking: (BGM: "I want to know what love is" by Foreigner.)
The pleasant drinking continues...
Takahashi's updated stats are: 3 Beers, 2 Whiskeys, 7 (!) Glasses of ShouChuu, and 3 white wines.
Just then the coolest of tonight's customers enters:


 4th Customer: 遠藤 章造 Endou Shouzou
Alcohol Previously Drunk:  1 Beer, 6 Whiskeys

"Drunken Behavior" DATA:

• Gets an enlarged sense of justice
• Tends to sermonize

Endou arrives with his snack: several cuts of Hinadori (baby chicken) from the chain restaurant 骨付鳥 一鶴 (Honetsukidori Ikkaku). Online research indicates that 870 yen is the correct price. The drunkards chomp down the chicken very unpleasantly.
When Mama asks Takahashi how he's doing, he excuses himself to the toilet, and Yama-Chan goes along for the ride. While they're gone, Endou bows to Master (does his あいさつ or aisatsu), saying it's really necessary. Mama agrees, which seems to embarrass Iwao, so quickly rises. And true to his "drunken behavior data" Endou starts sermonizing about the need for respect to Senpai.
After Yamasaki returns from the bathroom, the talk of Aisatsu (respectful greetings) continues. It couldn't come at a worse time, as now all hell is starting to break loose. When Takahashi comes out, Mama mentions the conversation is now concerning Aisatsu, and when it's OK or not, Iwaou is looking quite uncomfortable.
(Out of nowhere-- off topic?) Yamasaki adds that Geinin don't have "seniority by length of service" (i.e. Geinin senpai have not simply performed longer) to which Mama heartily agrees. Yamasaki, now increasingly incoherent(?) says "Seniority by length of service has NOTHING to do with geinin. It's (determined by) how funny they are." Yamasaki (intentionally?) seems to get quite heated over the idea.


One Hour thirty Five Minutes After the Start of Drinking:
The announcer notes that a change has come over Takahashi.
His current stats are: 3 Beers, 2 Whiskeys, 8 ShouChou, and 4 glasses of white wine.
The change the announcer mentioned is easily visible. "I'm drunk," he says.
The stats for the increasingly volatile Yamasaki are: 4 (small Tokui ) bottles of Sake, 3 glasses of ShouChuu, 3 glasses of white wine.
At this point, I can't begin to follow what's happening-- so let's concentrate on the next customer to arrive:



5th Customer: いとう あさこ (Itou Asako) A solo comic.
Alcohol Previously Drunk: 4 Beers, 8 glasses of white wine.

"Drunken Behavior" DATA:

• Becomes VERY highly spirited ("Tension")
• Becomes more feminine than usual.

Itou's snack is 鮭茶漬け(Chadzuke[broth?] with Salmon powder) from Kashimaya.
Things are happening quickly. Yamasaki bums a smoke ("hadn't you quit?") Mama mentions how Yamasaki had quietly asked for water.


One Hour 50 Minutes Since the Start of Drinking
Takahashi (who vomits?) needs to get air outside.


Two Hours since the Start of Drinking:
And Tanaka makes his fabled entrance, aided by Takahashi (!).  "He's really laughing a lot!" says Master. Soon Master and Mama are as well.


Sixth Customer: 田中 直樹 (Tanaka Naoki)

Alcohol Previously Drunk:  3 Beers, 6 Glasses of ShouChuu, 1 one small bottle of Sake, 4 glasses of white wine.

"Drunken Behavior" DATA:

• Becomes more talkative ("number of words increases")
• Laughs in a loud voice.

Mama is joking that Takahashi hasn't "drunk anything," while Tanaka is strangely walking around the room (Master: : But Tanaka's moving about---?")  Yamasaki wants to go to Karaoke, and Takahashi begins to make out with Itou.

This insanity will happily be continued next week!



Important Vocabulary:
酒場 (さかば): Bar, Bar room.
ベロンベロン: Drunken, stumbling
酔っぱらい  (よっぱらい):  A drunkard.
飲み干す (のみほす): To Drink up 
果たす　(はたす): To Achieve, to accomplish, finish
焼酎 (しょうちゅう):A japanese liquor similar to Vodka. Korean "Soju"
酒癖 ( さけくせ ): Drinking habits. Drunken behavior
絡む (からむ ): Pick a quarrel.
水割り(みずわり): Whiskey and water.
お摘み(おつまみ）: Snacks to go with alcohol. "Finger food."
CMオファー: Endorsement Deal(?)

熱燗(あつかん): Hot Sake

徳利(とくり): Slender "sake" bottle.

盛 る(もる): To serve, fill up.

盛り上げる(もりあげる): To stir-up, to enliven.

宴会(えんかい): Banquet, party.

未知数(みちすう): Unknown number.

漬 ける(つける): Pickled

梅干(うめぼし): Dried Plum

散髪(さんぱつ): Haircutting, hairdressing.

獲得(かくとく): Acquisition

万全(ばんぜん): Perfect.

破天荒(はてんこう) : Unprecedented, unheard of.

後輩(こうはい): Junior at work or school.

司会者（しかいしゃ): Presenter, host.

噂(うわさ): Rumor

増す(ます): Increase

腹立ち( はらたち): Angry

税金(ぜいきん): Tax
更なる(さらなる): Still more, further.
正義感(せいぎかん): Sense of justice
説教(せっきょう): Preach. Sermonize
年功序列(ねんこじょうれつ): Seniority by length of service.
ええんちゃう: (kansai ben) "Ok, isn't it?"
普段 (ふだん): Normal.
女らしい(おんあらしい): Feminine. Ladylike.

Episode Analysis:

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1000

Episode Number: 1000

Episode Title: 一番長く潜っていられるは誰だ!?　水中息止めバトル！！
(Who can stay submerged the longest?! Holding Your Breath Underwater Battle!!)

Broadcast Date: April 11th, 2010


Viewing Links:
http://channel.pandora.tv/channel/video.ptv?ref=em_over&ch_userid=keigoo&prgid=37578186&categid=all&page=1


Guests:
笑福亭鶴瓶 (Shofukutei Shohei)  Real Name: 渡士洋(Toshi Hiroshi)


Important Vocabulary:
脈理 (みゃくり): Pulse
酸素 (さんそ): Oxygen
乱暴(らんぼう): Rude, violent, unreasonable.
故障(こしょう): Breakdown, failure.
鼻 ほじる  (鼻ほじる): Pick one's nose.


Episode Summary:
"It's been a while since we've done this," says Hamada (as he often does) and the other Gaki regulars soon agree. It's a "Hold your breath underwater battle!" And the rules are simple:

• Go in the water and hold your breath. Whoever is submerged the longest time wins!

Furthermore, they've got a guest. Introducing him by his "real name" (again, as they often do) the regulars bring out "Toshi Hiroshi" otherwise known as the familiar Gaki no Tsukai Guest "Shohei!."
As Shohei arrives, they engage in a little light introductory banter. Matsumoto, exercising his usually weird take on things calls Shohei  "Underwater Entertainer Toshi Hiroshi," then confirms that he is their "Sempai." (Superior in age and experience.) Shohei notes this too, as Matsumoto asks how long he's been in show business. "About 29 or 30 years," he answers.
"Twenty nine or thirty years!" says Matsumoto. "Hard to understand." (a both brilliant and common Matsumoto line). "Your career is just as long as 佐野 元春 (Sano Motoharu, a Japanese guitarist and Rock musician.)" Matsomoto says, to which Shohei agrees. Then turning on a dime, Matsumoto asks, "But don't you want to stop talking already?" There is laughter all 'round, and Shohei say's he's happy to be there, as it's been a while since they've met. For this occasion, Hamada says, Shohei has been given the TOP position in their contest. As will be mentioned frequently throughout the episode, he's to be "Top Batter" ("first up.")
After the credits role, the soon to be familiar bumper rolls: "トップバッター!" (Top Batter!). It also mentions Shohei works for the 太田プロ (Ohta Puro "pro" Talent Agency.)


First Attempt:
Before submerging himself, Shohei says his pulse is racing, and that uses oxygen! He also mentions that Matsumoto is a little rude and unreasonable, but he's soon underwater! However, as director  堤本  (Dotemoto, or nicknamed つっつん "tsuttsun") mentions, when he comes out, there's obviously been a problem with the timer-- it didn't stop when desired. Would they mind waiting a moment?
While the crew waits (a hilariously uncomfortable and long time) for the timer to be replaced, Shohei asks if they could measure his time from when he was inside (the tank, by the video recording)--? But Hamada says that wouldn't allow them to do the "reveal" of the timer value.
Soon the crew from Telmic arrives to replace the timer, and while it's gone, some regret sets in-- and Shohei's ("getting cold...") request for a towel is answered in an.. underwhelming.. way ("we don't have any bath towels" says the crew). When Endou asks if they haven't got something for Shohei to put on, the results are similarly underwhelming. The towel (vest?) is also hardly appropriate. "We don't have any bathrobes," says the crew, on cue.


Second Attempt:
The regulars are amazed Shohei opens his eyes during his second attempt, but Shohei's manager (府野 or Funo) is less impressed. He carried out his attempt without his glasses on! It's a non-starter for the Ohta talent agency if he doesn't wear his glasses. Matsumoto also mentions (the audience) will find it difficult to understand who he is without his glasses on. The director thinks they ought to reset and do it again. He's reluctant, but as a real pro, He'll do it again.


Third Attempt:
The events all follow a bit more quickly now. Shohei's third attempt is cut short by Tanaka's sudden nosebleed. (Shohei: "Tanaka, why are you saying 'sorry'?") After he gets out of the tank, Shohei asks when it happened. "Kind of.. during recording," answers Tanaka. "I've picked my nose a little."
"It's a reset," says the director, to which Shohei asks, confused, "Who? Who's the person who should reset?" The answer to that question is soon made clear.


Fourth Attempt:
Shohei gets up to the reveal of his time (15 seconds underwater) when the taping is interrupted by producer Suga ((菅 賢治 Suga Kenji) who mentions that Shohei's "D*ck came out" during taping. "It was small, but it came out. And to be certain, it was VERY small." So, saying he'll close his legs, Shohei goes back in.

Fifth Attempt:
Now all realism is thrown out the window. As Shohei is about to submerge himself, Yamasaki falls down in a fit, meowing like a kitten. But producer Onuma (大沼) knows what to do: he dons the robe of a Shinto priest and says Yamasaki is possessed by the spirit of a snake! After a short ceremony, he is able to exorcise the spirit-- but not before it jumps into Endou! When everything is soon put right, neither can remember what happened.
After this drama, Shohei understandably mentions that perhaps they've filmed enough. "With narration, it ought to be enough." Downtown meet this suggestion with a rude silence, and Shohei's goes back in.


Sixth Attempt:
This attempt is soon interrupted by グレート義太夫 (actor, the Great Gidayuu) who joins Shohei in the tank. When asked what he's doing, Gidayuu says he's just staring to hold his breath. "But why have you come here on your own?" asks Matsumoto. "If you're holding your breath, there's no WAY I wouldn't be here," answers Gidayuu.
In this weird situation, Hamada asks Shohei to have a word with Gidayuu. Uncomfortably, he does so. After five minutes, Gidayuu leaves. "He surprised me!" says Shohei, just as it's time to reset. But the repetition and cold (Yamasaki: "We're cold... Shohei: And I'M cold...) is starting to grate. With a "Last Time!" on his lips, Shohei enters the tank again...


Seventh Attempt:
Finally, everything seems to fall into place-- but at the last minute Producer Suga interrupts the proceedings again. "It came out. Your d*ck. It was small, but it came out. In 30 years of television work it's never come out so many times, so continuously. With Shohei, it invariably comes out!" And the credits roll, production raps, leaving Shohei standing wet, alone, and without a towel.


Episode Analysis:
I suppose most normal television programs would use the one thousandth show to indulge in a little lazy self-congratulation with an obnoxious "spectacular" filled with clips, guest stars and wistful reminiscences. Not so the Gaki crew, who use the occasion to present an episode that presents the stripped down essence of what the show is about. But that doesn't make it any less of a "spectacular."
What is this essence they present? There are many sides to it, but I think it boils down to this: all things are subservient to "the Gag," a central, pre-scripted joke that can be repeated and varied in endless clever ways.
In this case, the simple Gag is Shohei's inability to complete his breath-holding attempt. But this simple conceit, repeated six times in the episode (almost a Shichi-Henge, or "seven apparitions?") is played upon differently in each, in both major and minor ways. They never deviate from the Gag, but it is instead used as a springboard-- each time using the same situation to different comedic ends, such as:

• Exploiting tension in the Senpai relationship between Shohei and the Gaki regulars. They make an explicit point to mention this early in the episode in order to accentuate inappropriate humiliations that are heaped upon Shohei.
• Exploiting long, uncomfortable, "jokeless" situations, to tease humor from social awkwardness.
• Using increasingly ridiculous staged "television" style broad comedic situations (Yamasaki's posession.)
• Improvisational, Rakugo or Manzai style comedy-- such as used in Matsumoto and Shohei's initial conversation.
• Playing with "mockumentary" style that includes television crew as speaking, comedic roles. This increases the tension between obvious broad "unreal" comedy and more "real" instantaneous, improvised comedy
• Repetition. Part of the humor also comes from the sheer nerve at repeating such and obvious comedic situation so many times so brazenly. Some jokes, like Producer Suga stopping the program, are funnier the second time.
• Irony/Nostalgia. Having Shohei, an entertainer that the cast seem faintly embarassed of (at the same time they revere him) also touches the intermittent nostalgia that marks many Gaki episodes, making light of slightly passe and outdated entertainers and humor.

All of the above can be found in most single episodes, but the simplicity with which they're shown here is particularly gratifying, making this quite an enjoyable episode, even if Hamada isn't really given much to do.

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1074

Episode Number: 1074


Episode Title: ビーチク噛み飛ばし選手権!!
(Nipple Bite Toss Championship!)


Broadcast Date: Sunday, October 2nd, 2011


Viewing Links:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzA5Mjc1NjA4.html


Guests:
ライセンス (License, a pair young-ish comedians made up of:)

• 藤原一裕 (Fujiwara Kazuhiro)
• 井本貴史 (Inomoto Takafumi)

Important Vocabulary:
ビーチク: (Slang) A nipple
仕置き: (しおき) Punishment, execution


Episode Summary:

As usual, the regulars (and License) are talking their familiar rec-room. For some reason, a CERTAIN member is not present, however.
Soon, Downtown's manager ( 織田直也, Orita Naoya）arrives bearing an elegant letter from Matsumoto. "It's been a while..." muses Hamada, before opening and reading it. The letter, in elegant metaphor, invites the crew to yet another Matsumoto "Technician" (sexual technique) challenge.
On the letter is a map marked not only with a rendezvous point, but also numerous landmarks, all of which refer to the Maseki Genousha talent agency. These include:

• The headquaters of Maseki Genousha (talent agency) 
• The home of 出川 哲朗: Degawa Tetsuro. An all-too-familiar tv comedian, also represented at Maseki Talent agency.
• The home of ウッチャンナンチャン: (UchanNanchan or UriNari) Another pair of (not quite so famous) comedians, employed by the Maseki talent agency.

Lastly, the Rendezvous point is marked as across the street from the home of 内海桂子: Utsumi Keiko, a female and quite elderly Manzai performer for Maseki Talent agency.


"Didn't he LOSE the last time we did this?" says Hamada, and Tanaka is quick to confirm. They're quite right.  As the clip shows, during the previous ビーチク早吸いマッチ (Nipple Speed-Suck Match)  Matsumoto lost, and as a punishment, had to perform the "だっちゅーの" ( dattyu--no! a gag made famous by a busty pair of comediennes known as the Pirates) into various weather (traffic) cameras around Tokyo.
As the regulars are led into studio G, they see Matsumoto, exercising in a "special" way approaching his one hundred quintillion and 9th repetition. Matsumoto then orders the regulars to line up properly and asks whether they are currently pleasing their "partners." Despite the fact that he's not wearing any, Matsumoto refers to Yamasaki as "Four-eyes" ( "megane," or "glasses" a traditional Japanese domineering nickname) and asks if he flirts ("makes out") with his "partner." Yamasaki, having been married for more than 10 years, doesn't quite do that any more, however.
The questions continue: Matsumoto asks if Yamasaki is the the "Suck type" or the "Bite type."
Yamasaki: "Of what--?"
Matsumoto: "NIPPLES!"


Matsumoto then commands everyone to reveal (in this order) Their age, (Chinese) Birth Sign, and Suck/Bite type. The results are as follows:

• Matsumoto: 48 - Rabbit - Suck
• Hamada: 48 - Rabbit -Whichever
• Yamasaki: 43 - Monkey - Suck
• Endou: 40 - Boar - Bite
• Tanaka: 40- Boar -Suck
• Fujiwara: 34 - Snake - Bite
• Inomoto: 33 - Ox -Bite

Matsumoto then tells the "biters" (rather forcefully) "Do not bite too much!" He has collected them together today to teach them the art of biting (nipples) easily, and when to let (and not let) them go. Thus opens the "Nipple Bite Toss Championship!"
As the curtain drops away, we note that a short snippet of the enjoyable song  "銃爪" (hikigane) is played in the background.
The rules are as follows:

• From atop the bed, bite the doll's nipples and (without hands, mind you) toss it some distance.
• The farthest of two tries will count per person, and the smallest distance will receive punishment!

The competition begins, (refereed by judges Producer Nakamura (中村) and Producer Onuma (大沼) ) and the results are:

Endou	60cm	5m77cm
Tanaka	Foul	3m86cm
Hamada	3m50cm	3m68cm
Fujiwara	4m 8cm	4m 93cm
Inomoto	3m 90cm	4m76cm
Yamasaki	3m 46cm	3m59cm
Matsumoto	1m22cm	2m30cm

Throughout the competition there is a constant struggle to have the competitor bite ONLY the doll's nipple, but some (Tanaka, Matsumoto) take a bite out of the whole breast! Additionally, playing with the nipple to get them to "stand" is also not allowed.


Most goes well, but when it's (finally) Matsumoto's turn to go, he first can't decide which "nipple" to bite. After his poor first performance, he questions whether his doll's "nipples" were strange.
At the end, it comes down to a contest between Yamasaki and Matsumoto. Thus Yamasaki watches closely to make sure Matsumoto does not bite too much of the doll's breast during his throw. When he bites too much Matsumoto protests "There isn't any nipple!" and "the rule is unclear!"


His last throw being only 2m30cm, Matsumoto loses, and must receive his punishment: "Falling asleep on a street corner while reading  the magazine Nipples Weekly!"
Yes "Nipple Weekly: The Magazine of Men's Nipple Fashion!"
It would be an understatement to say that Matsumoto is reluctant to accept the punishment. As the other slink away, he's left yelling "Hamada-- you do it!"
Thus begins the very enjoyable punishment, with Matsumoto pretending to sleep while reading "Nipples Weekly" to the appropriate sounds of Culture Club. 
The places he "falls asleep" at are:

• Aoyama FranFranc which is here: +35° 39' 59.03", +139° 42' 49.98" but must be of recent build, since it doesn't seem to be represented on Google Maps.
• A "nonstop bus" going to "Resort Parking." I can't seem to pin this down any more.
• Ebisu Garden Place, approximately here: +35° 38' 32.86", +139° 42' 49.37"

Episode Analysis:
It's been three years since the last one, but here comes another Matsumoto "Technician" challenge.
The previous outings have been:

ShowNumber	Date	Title	Loser
#820	26AUG2006	ブラホックはずし対決 Bra-Unhooking Competition	Tanaka
#841	4FEB2007	ビーチクいじりマッチ Nipple Tweaking Match	Tanaka
#855	20MAY2007	パンツ脱がし対決 Panties Removal Competition	Endou
#871	16SEPT2007	スピードキスマッチ Speed Kissing Match	Tanaka
#911	6JUL2008	昇天！腰振りマッチ The Ascension! Pelvic Movement Match!	Tanaka
#924	5OCT2008	激烈！ビーチク早吸いマッチ It's Wild! Nipple Speed Suck Match.	Matsumoto

I was very pleased to see this series return. After the somewhat sweet shows of late (Heipo Camping) it was refreshing for the show to return to something just outside the bounds of good taste. Similarly, there haven't been any very good punishments as of late, and the punishment dealt to Matsumoto (despite his overly comedic protestations) was one of the best in quite some time.
The whole point of the "Technician" challenges seems to mock excessive sexual posturing, and Matsumoto's assumption of the "swinger" role is always entertaining. With his high-backed wicker chair, brandy, cigars, and guru-like bearing, he presents somewhat ridiculous Japanese ideal of the worldly  louche and suave sophisticate. It would seem this character would fit into the Gaki style of humor in two ways. For one, it is quite nostalgic, and gives the same thrill as a somewhat outdated but fondly remembered television show or song. And secondly it allows an easy, somewhat cheap, though still entertaining, exercise in simple prurience.