Saturday, December 31, 2011

No Laughing Airport HOUR TWO

ガキの使い 絶対に笑ってはいけない空港24時!
Gaki No Tsukai Absolutely No Laughing Airport 24 Hours


Guests During Hour Two (7:30pm to 8:30pm): VIEW

This continues my catalog of the numerous guests during the New Year's Eve GnT broadcast.

Once again, since numerous translations of the show are pending, I'm making little effort to collect anything other than background information.

Portrait of Hamada by an anonymous Fine Arts student

I'm presenting these portraits of Hamada here, even though they are not "guests." It was my thought that they still represented some contribution to the show by (perhaps famous) individuals.

This image, however, was not apparently created by anyone of note. It still is rather striking, however.

Portrait of Hamada by a Street Portraitist

Similarly, this image was by a largely anonymous artist. It does still seem to be the most arresting of all the images.

Portrait of Hamada by 楳図 かずお(Umezu Kazuo)

This and the following image were contributed by reputable comic artist (and actor) Umezu Kazuo. I haven't read his work, but as will be noted later, he had a not inconsiderable contribution to this year's Batsu game. Perhaps more than any other guest.

Portrait of Hamada by 楳図 かずお(Umezu Kazuo)


白竜(Haku Ryuu or "White Dragon")

Okay! The next guest appears when Matsumoto presses a white button with the character 竜("Ryuu" or Dragon, as Matsumoto says) on it. This prompts Korean-born actor Haku Ryuu (literally, "White Dragon") to appear.

I really had no notion of Haku before his appearance, but he seems to have been involved in numerous film and television series based upon his character of "White Dragon." It's still unclear whether he's meant to be a fictional character or just an actor. Still, this is exactly the sort of question I'd hoped this catalog of guests would open.


高橋惠子(Takahashi Keiko)

Film actress Keiko Takahashi makes an appearance as the CA (Cabin Attendant) lead trainer, also quite a dominatrix.

Takahashi's appearance is quite well done. She comes in, announces her resume and then begins berate the regulars in quite filthy ways.

千秋(Chiaki)

Chiaki (Endou's former wife, they having divorced in 2007) makes her yearly appearance in the "キャビンアテンダント物語”("A Cabin Attendant's Tale") DVD that Tanaka plays.

Chiaki's participation in this year's batsu game is much larger than it's ever been. I'm unsure what this means, but her portrayal of a young girl trying to become a CA in this ridiculous ドラマ(Drama) parody is quite well done.

As usual, playing alongside Chiaki, is...

新おにぃ(前島浩一)Shin-Onii(Maejima Kouichi?)

Shin Onii continues to display a complete lack of acting ability in this drama parody.

Legend has it that Shin Onii was actually just an extra when chosen to play Chiaki's new husband for the Hotel Man batsu. His performance was such that he was brought back numerous times to amaze the regulars with his strange and inept impressions and acting ability.

Cast of キャビンアテンダント物語 ("A Cabin Attendant's Tale")

The following is a cast list of the Cabin Attendant's tale drama parody. Most are common television drama standbys.
比企理恵(Hiki Rie) as the first CA candidate.
高樹澪(Takaki Mio) as the second CA candidate.
いとうまい子(Ito Maiko) as the third CA candidate.
目黒祐樹(Meguro Yuuki) as Chiaki's (new) father. Her original father is obviously Producer Suga.
伊藤かずえ(Ito Kazue) as Chiaki's mother.
村松雄基(Muromatsu Toshifumi) as Chiaki's step brother.
原日出子(Hara Hideko) as Chiaki's bizarre stepsister.
山下真司(Shinji Yamashita) as another Airline director.
椿鬼奴(Tsubaki Oniyakko) as the woman without hands swearing revenge on Shin Onii.


渡辺直美(Watanabe Naomi) and
黒沢かずこ(Kurosawa Kazuko)

Watanabe and Kurosawa make their appearances doing impressions of Beyonce and Lady Gaga, respectively.

I had previously seen Watanabe do her Beyonce dance on an episdoe of Run For Money, and according to her wikipedia article, she's known as the "Beyonce of Japan."

Kurosawa (also of Morisanchuu) is, in my opinion, the best Japanese comedienne today. Her Shichi-Henge(episode #1066) is some evidence of this, but so is her presence in nearly every Batsu game for the last several years.

具志堅用高(Goshiken Youkou)

A nearly undefeated featherweight world champion boxer from the late 70's, Goshiken hails from Okinawa and has appeared on countless variety and television programs.

This is the first time I've seen him on GnT, but he's certainly been a regular on programs like Hexagon Quiz II and Run For Money.

武田修宏(Takeda Nobuhiro)

Tekada is a former Soccer player and now sports announcer for NTV.

He seems hilariously unprepared when asked to step up to the microphone.

X-GUN("Batsu-Gun")

I think this may be their first appearance in a Batsu game, but certainly 西尾季隆(Nishio Hidetaka, on the right) and さがね正裕(Sagane Masahiro, on the left) are no strangers to GnT or most variety programs. Their most important appearance was probably in episode #145, in which they demonstrated their verbose, uncomfortable, but obviously conceptual and "cutting edge" comedic style.

Here, they argue inappropriately about breaking up their colaboration. And Sagane's breath stinks as well.


No Laughing Airport HOUR ONE

ガキの使い 絶対に笑ってはいけない空港24時!
Gaki No Tsukai Absolutely No Laughing Airport 24 Hours


Approach:

As there will be a blessed surplus of direct translations and subtitled videos available for this episode in no great time, I've decided to try to catalog the somewhat large number of guest appearances during the show's six hours.

I'll be breaking this down into one hour sections to make the work more palatable, and may also record certain vocabulary I look up during the process.

Guests During Hour One (6:30pm to 7:30pm): VIEW

Bananaman

Familiar faces Shitara Osamu (設楽 統, on the left) and Himura Yuuki (日村 勇紀, on the right) appear dressed as young girls gossiping about Japanese Geinin (entertainers or comedians). Much more improbably, they're joined by:

伊藤 一朗 (Ito Ichiro)

Just as he's made appearances during several GnT "Grand-Prix" hidden camera competitions, Ito Ichiro, the guitarist and songwriter for Every Little Thing (ELT), makes an appearance.

大島美幸 (Oshima Miyuki)

The very familiar, odd-looking, though sometimes quite funny comedienne Oshima from the trio Morisanchuu makes an appearance as one of the victims of the underwear thief.

バービー (Barbie)


Barbie, a member of Fall In Love is also chasing the underwear thief. Although she's becoming a more familiar face, I've never seen her do anything terribly funny. Matsumoto seems to have a fascination with her, however.


吉高 由里子 (Yoshitaka Yuriko) and

藤森 慎吾(Fujimori Shingo)


Yoshitaka Yuriko (evidently an up-and-coming actress) and the quite odious Fujimori Shingo appear as a girl and her obnoxious boyfriend. I note this as one of Fujimori's few appearances on GnT (he seems common enough on Lincoln, but has he appeared on GnT before?) That is sweet relief, as he seems one of the most vile and contrived entertainers on current Japanese television. The word used to describe him (or his character) very often is "ちゃらい" (flashy, obsequious), but this has evidently made him somewhat popular on many programs. Regardless, I find him quite unfunny and loathsome.


梅沢 富美男(Umezawa Tomio)


Umezawa appears as Yoshitaka's father, and is abused by Fujimori, prompting him to break character and take mock offense.

I'm unfamiliar with Umezawa, but he's evidently a frequent actor on Japanese drama programs, and also a singer.


岡田圭右(Okada Keisuke)


Now we're talking! Always welcome, Okada from the combi Masuda-Okada brings back his embarassing and enjoyable character Happy Boy for the first time since last New Year's Eve.

This is doubly appropriate as he skipped this year's High Tension The Best of Ten shows. His appearance here, though not as enjoyable as watching him get shot last year, is still quite silly and therefore satisfying.


AMEMIYA and

小籔 千豊(Koyabu Kazutoyo)


AMEMIYA, a quite popular comedian and singer appears with another comedian playing his manager. AMEMIYA had a hit in 2011 with his folk-nonsense song "冷やし中華はじめました"("Begin the Chinese Cold Noodles"). The song introduces numerous odd lyrics into what appears to be a straightforward folk song.

It seems AMEMIYA is considering forming a duet with his friend, who turns out to be...


梅宮 辰夫(Umemiya Tatsuo)


Paying upon AMEMIYA's name, 60's actor Umemiya is introduced a possible partner. The only joke here seems to be the similarity in names, and the depths to which the evidently well-known actor has sunk.

Umemiya has a long filmography, but the only title that seems to stand out (to me, at least) is Kinji Fukusaku's "Battles Without Honor and Humanity."

マツコ・デラックス(Matsuko Deluxe)


Matsuko deluxe, popular obese transvestite newspaper columnist and now entertainer, makes her yearly appearance, although she seems to have graduated from a bus appearance.

As usual, she shows a hilariously inordinate interest in Endou, and a more hilarious hatred for Tanaka.

Matsuko is now seen quite regularly on several variety shows, including 有田とマツコと男と女 (Arita, Matsuko, Man, Woman) on TBS.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1085


Episode Title:
2011 ガキの使いおもしろVTRベスト10

"2011 Gaki No Tsukai Funniest Ten Episodes"

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1085: 2011 Best 10

Broadcast Date:

Sunday, December 18th, 2011

Viewing Links:

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzMzODgxNjAw.html

Guests:

藤原 寛(ふじわら ひろし): Fujiwara Hiroshi, former Downtown manager and host of this episode.
ライセンス (License, a "combi" featuring:
  • 藤原一裕 (Fujiwara Kazuhiro)
  • 井本貴史 (Inomoto Takafumi)
中村喜伸 (P中村)(Series producer Nakamura Yoshinobu otherwise known as "P Nakamura").
おばちゃん1号 (浅見 千代子 :あさみ ちよこ):"Obachyan #1"(Asami Chiyoko)
ピカデリー梅田(菅 登未男 :すが とみお):"Picadilly Umaeda" (Suga Tomio)
ヘイポー(斉藤敏豪): Heipo (Saito Toshihide)
新おにぃ(前島浩一):Shin-Onii(Maejima Kouichi?)

Important Vocabulary:

行き成り(いきなり):All of a sudden.
餃子(ぎょうざ):gyoza (crescent-shaped pan-fried dumplings stuffed with minced pork and vegetables).
主将(しゅしょう):commander-in-chief, (team) captain.
企画(きかく):Planning, design.
割り(わり):Sumo (style) match.
にらめっこ: Staring contest.
大相撲(おおずもう):Professional Sumo wrestling.
宅(たく):Home.
振り返る(ぶりかえる):To look back upon.
妄想(ぼうそう):Wild idea,delusion (fantasy).

Episode Summary:

Another year, and another Gaki No Tsukai Best of 10!

The episode opens with former Downtown manager Fujiwara Hiroshi acting in a parody of the new (and popular?) Tokusatsu series "妖怪人間ベム" ("Human-Monster Bem"). After the strange devil creature threatens to kill everyone, Fujiwara chases him off an introduces himself as "Human-Monster Fujiwara-Bera" (Bera being the female lead on the program) and shouts the show's catchphrase "Quickly, I want to become a human being!"

This is Fujiwara's 14th consecutive year hosting this year-end event, which would mean he's been doing it since 1997. This TV parody is quite different from the (very few) other episodes of this type I've seen, in which Fujiwara typically parodies a song popular that year.

The opening titles run over clips from the following episodes:

  • Matsumoto at Karaoke with the "Powered Up" Sherri, Itao's wife in episode #1049 (Broadcast April 10th, 2011).
  • Matsumoto rising from his crypt in episode #1056 (Broadcast May 29th, 2011).
  • Hamada/Matsumoto in an as yet unidentified talk segment.
  • Matsumoto pretending to be surprised by a trick bomb in episode #1069 (Broadcast June 26th, 2011)

As the countdown of the year's best begins in earnest, there is a video bumper played between each episode. This bumper shows clips from the following episodes (note that the background music is from ”マルモのおきて” and can be heard here):
  • Matsumoto rising from his crypt in episode #1056 (Broadcast May 29th, 2011).
  • The climax of this year's "Sayonara Yamasaki," episode #1047 (Broadcast March 27th, 2011).
  • A lewd highlight from Kurosawa Kazuko's Shichi-Henge in episode #1066 (Broadcast August 7th, 2011).
  • A moment from Shoji Murakami's Feudal Lord class in episode #1058 (Broadcast June 12th, 2011).
  • The charming group shot from this year's "High Tension Best of 10" from the end of episode #1079.
Then, listing the top episodes of 2011 from least best to best:

#10 なりきり たけし王グランプリ ("Suddenly Takeshi Grand Prix!")

Episode: #1063,#1064
Broadcast: July 17th, 2011; July 24th, 2011
VIEW:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjg2MDg4NDg0.html
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjg4NDQxNjQ0.html

#9 TKJグランプリ2 ("2nd Jan-Ken-Pon Tournament")

Episode: #1053, #1054, #1055
Broadcast: May 8th, 2011; May 15th, 2011; May 22nd, 2011.
VIEW:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjY1Mzc0NzQ4.html
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjY3MzMwNjcy.html
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjY5Mjc3MjE2.html

#8 ベロンベロン酒場 ("BeronBeron Stumbling Drunk Bar")

Episode: #1075, #1076
Broadcast: October 10th, 2011; October 17th, 2011.
VIEW:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzExMzI5OTI0.html
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzEzNDIyMTky.html

#7 X-GUN 餃子の主将ダメ出し企画 ("BatsuGun King of Gyouzu Unsuccessful Serving Plan")

Episode: #145
Broadcast: March 6th, 2011
VIEW:http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjQ4ODUwMjAw.html

#6 ガラス割りにらめっこ大相撲 ("Great Glass Sumo Staring Contest")

Episode: #1062
Broadcast: July 10th, 2011
VIEW:http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjgzOTY0Mzky.html

#5 へイポー芸人宅へ宿泊&キャンプ ("Heipo's Geinin Sleepover and Camping")

Episode: #1067, #1071
Broadcast: August 14th, 2011
VIEW:
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjk0Nzc2NzAw.html
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzAzNDEyNTIw.html

#4 山崎 昭和を振り返る ("Yamasaki Looks Back Upon the Showa Era")

Episode: #1068
Broadcast:
VIEW:http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjk3MzE5NDQ0.html

#3 遠藤妄想テニス ("Endou's Tennis Fantasies")

Episode: #1051
Broadcast April 24th, 2011
VIEW:http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMjYxNjEzMjk2.html

#2 浜田雅功のなぞなぞワールド ("Hamada Masatoshi's World of Riddles")

Episode: #1077
Broadcast: Sunday October 23rd 2011
VIEW:http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzE1NTcwNjIw.html

#1 灼熱の素手地獄!箸なき闘い!!("Red Hot Barehanded hell! Battle without chopsticks!!")

Episode: #1080
Broadcast: November 13th, 2011
VIEW:http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzIyMjU4MjMy.html

Episode Analysis:

Others might not like these episodes, but I love them. As a late admirer of the show, and as episodes can be difficult to track down online, I'm often thrilled at seeing as-yet-unwatched episodes referenced in these end-of-year clip shows.

I also find these episodes thrilling in that it affords a view into which episodes the production staff themselves thought were the most successful. This is illustrative of the style of comedy the producers are aiming for, and getting to the heart of what the show is "about."

As for the rundown, no one is ever entirely pleased by any "top 10" list, but I was especially pleased to see some of my favorites near the top. These include #1068 (Yamasaki's Showa music spectacular), #1075/76 (BeronBeron Bar) and #1080(Battle without chopsticks).

The "top" episode (#1080) is noteworthy in that the moment it went out, there was an immediate flurry of interest in it-- that is, its simple, silly excellence was immediately apparent to anyone watching.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Gaki No Tsukai 七変化 (Shichi Henge) Stats as of Episode #1084


Since last week's episode (#1084) featured the Shichi-Henge of Nakagawa Reiji (the staff thought his performance in the upcoming New Year's Eve "No Laughing in the Airport" was so good, they brought him in for this) I thought rather than blog the individual episode, I'd try to do more of a retrospective of the previous Shich-Henge episodes.



There's a couple of similar lists floating around the internet, but I thought I'd take a stab to increase my familiarity with the series. In collecting the links to the episodes below, I found several that I haven't yet seen.


The following table lists all Shichi Henge episodes of GnT as of December 11th, 2011. Upon subsequent Shichi-Henge episodes (they seem to come once every six months or so) I will update this list and repost.


Episode NumberBroadcast DatePerformer (pronunciation) [Combi] Amount EearnedMisc.
753April 17th, 2005河本準一(こうもと じゅんいち) [次長課長(じちょうかちょう)]
Koumoto Jyunichi from JichyouKachou
¥63,000WATCH
1066 August 7th, 2011 黒沢かずこ[森三中]
Kurosawa Kazuko from Morisanchuu
¥55,000WATCH
941February 8th, 2009 哲夫(てつお)[笑い飯]
Tetsuo from WaraiMeshi
¥53,000
635November 24th, 2002 Bob Sapp ¥53,000 WATCH
887January 13th, 2008 小杉竜一(こすぎ りゅういち)[ブラックマヨネーズ]
Kosugi Ryuichi from Black Mayonnaise
¥48,000 WATCH
1021September 12th, 2010 友近(ともちか)
Tomochika Yukiko
¥47,000 WATCH
994February 28th, 2010 日村勇紀(ひむら ゆうき)[バナナマン]
Himura Yuuki from Bananaman
¥46,000
852April 29th, 2007 原西孝幸(はらにし たかゆき)[FUJIWARA]
Haranishi Takayuki from FUJIWARA
¥45,000 WATCH
487November 7th, 1999 竜泉(りゅうせん)[構成作家]
Ryuusen (TV Scenario writer)
¥44,000
731November 7th, 2004 千原靖史(ちはら こうじ)[千原兄弟(ちはらきょうだい)]
Chihara kouji from Chihara Brothers
¥43,000 WATCH
1084December 11th, 2011中川礼二(なかがわ れいじ)
Nakagawa Reiji
¥42,000 WATCH
978November 1st, 2009 ケンドーコバヤシ
Kendo Kobayashi
¥41,000
387September 28th, 1997 田中直樹[ココリコ]
Tanaka Naoki from Cocorico
¥40,000
695February 15th, 2004 有田哲平(ありた てっぺい)[くりぃむしちゅー]
Arita Teppei from Kuriimushichuu
¥38,000 WATCH
799April 2nd, 2006 後藤輝基(ごとう てるもと)[フットボールアワー]
Godou Terumoto from Football Hour
¥38,000 WATCH
1004May 9th, 2010 設楽統(したら おさむ)[バナナマン]
Shitara Osamu from Bananaman
¥37,000 WATCH
397November 23rd, 1997 腰フリおばちゃん
"Free Hips Obachan"
¥37,000
1041February 6th, 2011 川島邦裕(かわしま くにひろ)[野性爆弾(やせいばくだん)]
Kawashima Kunihiro from Yasei Bakudan
¥35,000WATCH
844February 25th, 2007 藤本敏史(ふじもと としふみ)[FUJIWARA]
Fushimoto Toshifumi from FUJIWARA
¥35,000 WATCH
792February 5th, 2006 岩尾望(いわお のぞむ)[フットボールアワー]
Iwao Nozomu from Football Hour
¥33,000 WATCH
625September 8th, 2002 ふかわりょう
(Comedian) Fukawaryou
¥31,000 WATCH
371June 8th, 1997 大友有一ディレクター
Series Director Otomo
¥29,000 WATCH
945March 8th, 2009 西田幸治(にしだ こうじ)[笑い飯]
Nishida Kouji from Waraimeshi
¥27,000 WATCH
597February 17th, 2002 木村祐一(きむら ゆういち)
Kimura Yuuichi
¥27,000
463May 16th, 1999 宮迫博之(みやさこ ひろゆき)[雨上がり決死隊(あめあがりけっしたい)]
Miyazawa Hiroyuki from AmeAgariKesshitai
¥26,000 WATCH
736December 12th, 2004 千原ジュニア[千原兄弟]
Chihara Junior from Chihara Brothers
¥26,000 WATCH
340September 29th, 1996 磯俣拓生
Isomata Takuo (Downtown manager at that time)
¥25,000
456March 14th, 1999 蛍原徹(ほとはら とおる)[雨上がり決死隊]
Hotohara Tooru from AmeAgariKesshitai
¥19,000 WATCH
386September 21st, 1997 遠藤章造[ココリコ]
Endou Shozo from Cocorico
¥16,000 WATCH
300November 26th, 1995 菅賢治(すが けんじ)
Series Producer Suga Kenji
¥14,000
680October 19th, 2003 品川祐(しながわ ひろし)[品川庄司)しながわしょうじ)]
Shinagawa Hiroshi from Shinagawa-Shouji
¥12,000 WATCH
565June 17th, 2001 山下しげのり[ジャリズム]
Yamashita Genori from Jyarism
¥11,000 WATCH
297November 5th, 1995 山崎邦正
Yamasaki Housei
¥10,000 WATCH
312March 3rd, 1996 堤本幸男
Series Director Dotemoto ("Tsutsun")
¥10,000 WATCH
325June 9th, 1999 中村喜伸
Legendary series producer Nakamura
¥9,000 WATCH
355February 2nd, 1997 高須光聖(たかす みつよし)
Takasu Mitsuyoshi(TV Scenario Writer)
¥7,000 WATCH


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1083


Episode Title: 2012年12月に世界終わる?



In December, 2012, Will the World End? (Talk Episode)
Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1083


Broadcast Date:

Sunday, December 4th, 2011

Viewing Links:

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzI5MTc2Nzk2.html

Guests:

None.

Important Vocabulary:

文明(ぶんめい):Civilization, culture.
白髪(しらが):White hair (which may be trendy)
増える(ふえる):To increase, multiply.
平均(へいきん): Average
年齢(ねんれい): Age
老化(ろうか):Ageing
進行(しんこう): Advancement, progression.
老眼(ろうがん):Age related farsightedness.
足りる(たりる):To be sufficient
手術(しゅじゅつ): Operation, (surgical) procedure.
伸ばす(のばす):To lengthen, stretch, extend.
ボケッと: To be stupified. To do nothing.
爆走(ばくそう): Roaring noisily.
強制(きょうせい):Obligation, enforcement.
溶ける(とける): Melt, thaw.
真っ白(まっしろ):Pure white, blanche.
後輩(そはい):Junior at work or school.
理解(りかい):Comprehension, understanding.
言動(げんどう):Speech and conduct.
ガス欠(ガスけつ):Run out of gas.
普段(ふだん):Usual, habitual, ordinary.
正直(しょうじき):Honestly, frankly.

Episode Summary:

The best way to summarize the content of this episode is via the segment captions which are shown at the top right hand of the screen.

Where possible, direct quotes will be shown as follows:

MATSUMOTO!

HAMADA!

ENDOU!

TANAKA!

YAMASAKI!



2012年12月に世界終わる? ("Will the world end in December, 2012?")

Matsumoto uses the often discussed Mayan prediction that the world will end in December 2012 as a jumping-off point for the episode's discussion.

"The Mayans understood what it's like to work with Hamada this long! They understood completely!"

平均年齢44. 最近老化進行中  ("The average age [of the Gaki Regulars] is 44. Undergoing the advancement of old age!")

The conversation soon turns to the age of the Gaki regulars, and the effects of advancing age, including grey hair, vision problems, and changes in taste.

(pointing at Yamasaki's hair) "Here! It's very white!"
"It's fashionable silver hair, isn't it?"
"The silver hairs are increasing!"
...
"I also found a white hair on my pillow once. I thought it was a crab bone."
...
"Of all of us I suffer the worst from age related farsightedness. I can't see at all!"
(pointing to Hamada, and holding his arm out like he's reading like an old man) "Hey, HIS arms aren't long enough."
"He doesn't need so much as an eye operation as an arm stretching."
...
"Sometimes meals give me a bad feeling. I sit there stupefied!
Sometimes eating (sticky) Nato (moving my chopsticks in a circular motion) makes me feel very bad. I'm confused. What am I doing? I just don't understand!"
...
"Have you noticed you can't stretch your forehead [skin]?"
(Touching his forehead and moving the skin) "It's like an orange thawing out after a deep freeze."

2012年12月に世界終わる? ("Will the world end in December, 2012?")

Yamasaki, especially, seems eager to discuss the Mayan end-of-the-world. Tanaka offers some info off the internet regarding the idea that the prediction might refer to an approaching Photon Belt.

"If the world is really going to end, what would you do?"
(After a rude silence from the other regulars) "Was it THAT bad a question?"

後輩芸人チャドの理解できない言動 ("I can't understand Junior Geinin Chad!")

Matsumoto raises some anecdotes regarding an Australian Geinin, and is quite honest regarding his discomfort at some cultural and linguistic difficulties.

"Recently I really went absolutely pale white [with fear]. I was eating with Kimura, Miyasako, and Chad Maren-- he's Australian. You know there I times I can't understand what he's saying?"
"He speaks Japanese very fluently, but after all, he's a Gaijin!"
...
"(We were eating together and) He said 'if I can only have bones, am I a dog? BAOW-WOW! BAOW-WOW! And this was in a half-sized room!"
"That IS scary."

田中を襲った.高速道路でガス欠 ("Advance on Tanaka. Running out of gas on the expressway!"

Tanaka explains an incident in which his driver ran out of gas while on the expressway. He had to wait in the car, where he was seen by about 5000 people, and then when the driver returned with gas, it took him about another hour and a half to pump the diesel into the engine with an injector pump.

普段 会話しない3人がトーク ("The talk of three who don't usually converse")

Hamada, Tanaka and Yamasaki discuss the difficulties of parenthood. Yamasaki discusses his two daughters, but my comprehension is limited in that I can't find what "プリンプリン" means.

Tanaka discusses a humorous incident in which one of his sons used 3D glasses to look at everything like it's "in 3D."

Episode Analysis:

This is the first "all talk" episode since episdoe #1052, which first aired May 1st, 2011. Episodes like this can seem a disappointment from time to time, as they are often (to me, at least) the most linguistically difficult, and culturally opaque. Still, it does reaffirm that the basis of the program was in Manzai style comedy-- which is just talk. Many of the humorous quizzes, jokes and stunts that occupy most of the show in its current form are just excuses to prompt clever talk among the regulars. This seems to be the idea behind Matsumoto's other program "Hitoshi Matsumoto's -blank-blank- Stories," which focuses solely on interesting and funny stories.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Gaki No Tsukai #1082


Episode Title: へイポーが本気で結婚したい女性ベスト30

"Heipo's Real Top 30 Women He Wants to Marry"

Gaki No Tsukai Episode #1082


Broadcast Date:

Sunday, November 27th 2011.

Viewing Links:

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMzI2OTE4NzAw.html

Guests:

ヘイポー(斉藤敏豪): Heipo (Saito Toshihide)
森下 千里(もりした ちさと): Morishita Chisato. Heipo's unfortunate #1 choice for a wife.

Important Vocabulary:

招待状(しょうたいじょう): Written invitation.
背負う(せおう): To be burdened with, have on one's back.
色っぽい(いろっぽい):Amorous, erotic.

Episode Summary:

The ongoing saga of ”世界のへイポー” (The world's [only] Heipo) continues!

Matsumoto arrives before the GnT taping, and says that since his experience visiting Yoshi Yamada's family (Gaki No Tsukai episodes #1067 and #1071) Heipo, show designer, and everyone's favorite 56 year old perverted cowardly bachelor would like to get married! Matsumoto shows everyone the printed invitation he's created (which says "これから未来の話をしょう" or "Let's talk about where we go from here"). "He's very serious, really!" says Matsumoto. "For some reason he's on my back about it, and I don't really understand it, but... (let's go.)"

Upon arrival, the regulars are treated (if that's the word) to a Steve Jobs like presentation of "The Women Who Can Change Heipo's Future." Thus Heipo takes the stage and lists his "Top 30 Women."

Here's some highlights from his list:

  • In speaking about #30 (Kyoka Suzuki) Heipo says he likes her because she's from the Tohoku region, and he really likes girls form Tohoku.
  • Heipo likes the Kyoto dialect used Misako Yasuda (#26).
  • When discussing #24, Ito Asako (from GnT #1075 and #1076, amongst others) he says he likes a girl who kisses well.
  • When working with #21 (Shimohira Sayaka) she often had an amorous and erotic look in her eye.
  • Heipo enjoyed watching #7 (Mimura Reiko) in her drama bed scenes.
  • Heipo rode the Nippon TV elevator with #39 (Inamori Izumi) where she said she'd seen him on GnT.
  • Heipo has liked #1 (Morishita Chisato) for some time. They've worked together in the past, and one time, when she was wearing a mini-skirt, she let him see her underwear. "There aren't many people who'll let you see their underwear," says Heipo. To which Endou responses, "yeah, ZERO."

The female announcer returns, and says that with the help of Morishita's manager, it has been arranged, without her knowledge, that Heipo will propose to her on hidden camera. "Are you serious?" asks Endou. "Serious," says Heipo. Then it comes out he hasn't seen her for 5 or 6 years. This is sounding very odd, indeed.

The rest of the episode details Heipo's attempt to propose to Morishita. At first meeting, she doesn't remember him. Then after a lot of rambling talk, everyone's patience wears thin, and the Gaki crew invade the hidden camera shoot. In the end Heipo didn't have the guts to propose, and the whole thing falls apart.

Episode Analysis:

At least it can be said that the Heipo episodes of GnT have a coherent and well established narrative thread. From his initial perversions and weird exaggerated cowardice the series had developed into his growing desire to adjust to a more normal life. This episode may be the culmination of this development, with him attempting marriage.

But there can't be any avoiding the fact that Heipo's inability to propose prevents this episode from becoming anything more than a brief, slightly entertaining twenty four minutes. In that respect, I think we can consider it a failure-- for if he had managed to propose, I doubt it's something anyone would soon forget.